However Dysfunctional , This is the Way that I see Things

Tumor free is the way to be !

on May 26, 2013

Not my brain

Once again I am left feeling as if I have to apologize for my absence these past few months. I feel that my blog is somehow an extension of myself, so if you have been wondering what is going on here is a good recap of the most recent events in my life.

As I brought to your attention in one of my past posts I have a Pituitary tumor. Well about a month ago I have decided that enough is enough and I wanted to be rid of it forever. The medication was no longer working to shrink the tumor and my prolactin levels were increasing despite being on the medication. I decided to go see DR Vrionis at Moffit  Cancer Center.


After a consultation I mustered the courage to tell the doctor what I have been neglecting to say for the past ten years. That I ,in fact wanted surgery. He instructed me to get off the medication and come back in 3 weeks  to have a “pre op” appointment.

The pre op appointment was painfully long and detailed. I spoke with a medical social worker about my opportunity to have a living will and advanced directives which is the papers that I would sign to pick who I want making decisions for me if something were to go wrong (fortunately enough I didn’t need to use them ). After that I went to have blood drawn and an MRI done, to locate exactly where the tumor was located to provide assistance in the removal. About 6 hours later and 12 vials of blood being taken we were finished with the first step.

After the pre op on the 15th I became increasingly nervous as the time passed.  I became somewhat secluded at home and generally didn’t feel like my usual happy go lucky self. I don’t know if even those that were closest to me knew how scared I really was. I wasn’t running or going to the gym like my usual routine. The morning of the surgery wasn’t any better. I was sick to my stomach the entire morning.

I was there on time and after a little confusion as to where my family and I had to go, we got checked in and the process started. They asked me a few questions , made me take a pregnancy test, and had me change into a purple gown and compression stockings My mom came in after a while to wish me luck and have me speak to my dad on the phone. I wish that I could say her presence was comforting but my mom kept trying to sit on me and my dad was higher than a kite on the phone. I am sure he fell asleep twice during our 5 min conversation. After a little while the started an IV and gave me some antibiotics for preventative measures. Antibiotics that I was apparently very allergic to, because I started itching violently. My mom called the nurse to give me some relief but it made me super sleepy.


Not much is too clear after that. I remember saying goodbye to my mom and my sister,  and I remember dozing off. I am assuming that they gave me the medication to make me “sleep” through IV while I was asleep from the Benadryl because I wasn’t told that I had to count down from 10 or any form of cliché like that.

After what I now know was approximately 2.5 hours, I woke up in a panic.

The first sensation I felt was the worst most intense burning sensation down my throat. The second feeling was heat. I was hot all over my body .I had things attached to me, I couldn’t move and I felt like crying but hesitated and knew that it wouldn’t do any good. At one point I remember trying to rip off my gown and my blood pressure arm band. I think I might have had a panic attack because I felt like I had to sneeze and then vomited blood all over.  I felt vulnerable and in pain, and still scared.

I finally calmed down enough to fall asleep. That was the most needed sleep I think that I have ever gotten in my entire life.

I woke up, still sore but in great spirits and frankly kind of loopy from the oxycodone that they gave me. The nurses told me that I would be moving to my room soon.

I remember asking if I was going to walk to my room and the nurse laughed at me and told me that I wasn’t allowed to walk. What a strange concept. I was running for miles just yesterday and now I wasn’t able to walk … spooky to say the least but even in my loopy stage I understood.

When I got to my room my mom, and my sister were  there waiting for me. I was hungry and thirsty despite the 3 consecutive glasses of water that I had just finished.

The rest for that day is now just a blur of sleep, getting poked and prodded every few hours and nurses coming in measuring everything .

The next day was a lot of sleeping and trying to get comfortable. Failing miserable at the trying to get comfortable part I might add. At the end of that day I got to come home. I watched a movie and then went to bed

Since the surgery I have been in little pain, just in the sides and the back of my head where they had a clamp to keep my head still during the procedure. so the question that you are probably asking is …. Did they get it all? (It being my tumor)

That I cannot tell you yet. I won’t know for another few months.   Kind of depressing considering everything that I have been through to get to this point.


10 responses to “Tumor free is the way to be !

  1. El Guapo says:

    Sounds like they did what they were supposed to.
    Glad it sounds like everything went well, and that you had your loved ones there to help you along.
    Hope they got it all!

  2. I have been trying to get ahold of you. I’ve been worried and …feel terrible for not being there for you .not just for this but for this especially. I always told you I wouldnt let you down and I have. If I had known I would of at least been able to listen and I wouls have triex to cone there.. ewadibg this I realize .there was someone who should have told me..and I am heartsick and furious he didnt even think enough tge dat

    • Please dont be upset i should have told you sooner as well. and dont be mad at him for not because we all know what his actual memory is like. I know that you wanted to be there and that is good enough for me

      • Ok then – see that bubble ? the one right over therer? I m putting it in and letting it go…you kow how to cotack me.. and I don;t really ..I know he probably didnt even think to tell me.. so.. .glad you got it done and things are good…

  3. The day before to tell me. I love you big bigger.. so very much .and hope this will be the end of pain and the tumor forever.. ill talk to you soon.. and I’m as always very proud of you.

  4. I wish my mom and I could have both been there for you! Im keeping you in my prayers for the next month hopefully nothing but good news comes your way!

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